YOU DO NOT COMMUNICATE WELL ENOUGH

I’ll never forget the day the email landed in my inbox.

It was from a very large, well-known organization, one whose conferences I had admired from a distance. The kind of event where the best of the best were invited to speak. And now, unbelievably, they were inviting me.

I can still remember the rush of excitement as I read those words. Me? Speaking at their conference? It felt like a clear sign that my speaking ability had reached a new level. That moment was like a mountaintop.

That afternoon, I couldn’t keep the news to myself. I shared it with several friends. They high-fived me, laughed with me, and said, “Eddie, you’re the man! This is huge!” Their enthusiasm fueled my excitement.

But later that evening, I made another call to a different kind of friend. Not the kind who only celebrated with me, but one of what I call my “provisional relationships.” These were the people in my life who didn’t just cheer they evaluated, counseled, and sharpened me.

I told him the news, expecting his congratulations. But after I finished, the phone went silent.

At first, I thought the call had dropped. “Are you still there?” I finally asked.

“Yes,” he said slowly. “I’m here.”

I hesitated. “Well, I thought maybe we got cut off because I didn’t hear your response.”

“I didn’t respond yet,” he said. “I’m still thinking.”

Then came the words that caught me completely off guard:

“Eddie, at this point, you’re not good enough to speak at that level of conference.”

My heart sank.

He continued: “You can’t just go into a conference like that and do okay. You can’t even go in and do good. You must hit it out of the park. And right now, you’re not there yet.”

I remember the storm of thoughts racing through my head. Part of me wanted to defend myself. Part of me wanted to hang up. But another part of me, the wiser part reminded me: Listen. This is why you have this relationship. He’s not here to flatter you; he’s here to help you grow.

So, I asked quietly, “Do you think I should cancel the booking?”

He paused. “No. Don’t cancel. But here’s what I would suggest.”

For the next hour, he counseled me. His advice was simple but profound: “Stay in your strengths. Speak from your strongest skill set. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Refine what you already do best, and don’t stray.”

For the next several months, that’s exactly what I did.

I worked harder than ever before on my communication. I trimmed away the fluff, practiced clarity, and drilled down into the skills I already carried. I stopped trying to imitate other speakers and leaned into the unique voice God had given me.

When the day finally came, I walked onto that platform with a blend of nerves and determination. And by God’s grace, I didn’t just survive, I thrived.

The conference organizers asked me back the next year. Then again, the year after. And just before that third year, I called my friend again.

“Do you have any thoughts for me before I go?” I asked.

This time, his voice was confident. “Eddie, do whatever you want. You and I both know you are more than capable.”

Looking back now, I’m so grateful I had people in my life who could do more than just tell me what I wanted to hear. My cheering friends gave me confidence but my truth-telling friend gave me growth.

Here’s what I’ve learned: you need both. Encouragement fuels you, but accountability shapes you. One makes you feel good, the other makes you better.

The Bible says in Proverbs 27:6: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

That day on the phone felt like a wound. My pride stung. But it was a wound that healed into strength.

We live in a world where everyone wants applause. But if all you ever get is applause, you’ll never improve.

   •   Who are the people in your life who tell you the truth, even when it hurts?

   •   Who loves you enough to risk your disappointment in order to see your development?

   •   Are you humble enough to listen when they speak?

If you only surround yourself with people who cheer, you’ll eventually plateau. But if you invite in those who challenge you, you’ll grow into capacities you never imagined.

When I stood on that platform and spoke at that conference not once, not twice, but three years in a row I realized something powerful.

The success of those moments didn’t begin on the stage. It began in a phone call with a friend who was willing to say: “Eddie, at this point, you’re not good enough.”

It’s humbling to admit, but that truth became the turning point.

So let me leave you with this question: Who do you allow to speak hard truths into your life?

Because sometimes the words that hurt the most are the very ones that prepare you for the opportunities you’ve been praying for.