The Day I Discovered Lines Matter

Growing up in my parents’ home was never quiet. With four biological kids and as many as eleven foster children under one roof at a time (thirty-eight over the years!), the Windsor house was always full of noise, laughter, and yes plenty of arguments.

Looking back, there were benefits to such a large family. We never needed to recruit the neighbors for a game between us, we had enough to field two basketball or football teams. But with that many players, things could get intense.

I’ll never forget one afternoon when we were playing football in the front pasture. To be honest, it wasn’t much fun. Every play ended in an argument. Someone swore they were still in bounds, while another insisted, they had run out. Our “field” was defined by makeshift markers: the tractor and the truck as goalposts, the tree and a pile of rocks as sidelines. The problem? With no clear lines, chaos ruled. Some of my siblings would dash way out of bounds to dodge a tackle and then dart back in for a touchdown. It was mayhem.

Frustrated, we finally begged our father to come referee. He stood and watched for only a few minutes before diagnosing the problem: “You kids don’t need a referee you need boundaries.”

A few minutes later, he returned with the riding lawnmower. Slowly and carefully, he mowed straight lines into the grass, marking the sidelines and the end zones. Suddenly, the arguments stopped. We knew what counted and what didn’t. For the first time that day, the game was fun.

That afternoon taught me a truth that has stuck with me my whole life: kids love lines.

They may resist them at first, but deep down, children crave boundaries. They’ll push, test, and lean against them not because they want chaos, but because they want clarity. They want to know where the lines are and to hear a parent’s voice say, “No, that’s out of bounds.”

But here’s the catch: lines only bring peace when they are consistent. If yesterday’s touchdown suddenly becomes today’s penalty—or if Mom and Dad enforce rules differently confusion sets in. And confusion breeds resentment.

Imagine this:

   •   Yesterday your child made a silly joke at the dinner table and everyone laughed.

   •   Today, they tell the same joke, and you ground them because the pastor came over for dinner.

Or:

   •   Something is fine when Dad’s in charge.

   •   But when Mom’s home, the rules change.

Or worse:

   •   At church the line is drawn one way.

   •   At home, it shifts.

   •   With friends, it disappears altogether.

When the lines move, kids lose trust. They start to wonder, “What’s the rule today? And who decides?”

That’s where fights start. That’s where bitterness grows.

The Bible speaks directly to this. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.” Every child is born needing correction. Boundaries aren’t optional they’re essential.

And Hebrews 12:6 reminds us, “The Lord disciplines the one he loves.” Discipline isn’t punishment it’s love in action. It’s not something we do to our children, but something we do for them.

But many parents fall into what I call Etch-A-Sketch parenting. Remember that toy? You draw lines, then shake it, and the lines disappear. Some parents do the same thing:

   •   They draw boundaries one day.

   •   They erase them the next.

   •   Their mood, convenience, or guilt determines the rules.

The result? Kids learn that lines are suggestions, not standards. And that lesson carries into adulthood into their marriages, their jobs, and their faith.

Here’s the truth: your children don’t need you to be their buddy. They don’t need shifting lines. They need you to be their parent, steady and consistent.

Even God set His people up with boundaries the Ten Commandments. He didn’t call them “Ten Suggestions.” He gave clear, unchanging, life-giving lines.

And Jesus affirmed them, saying in Matthew 5:17: “Do not think I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

If God believes in boundaries, how much more should we as parents?

Practical Steps for Parents

                  1.             Explain the Why – Boundaries without understanding lead to rebellion.

                  2.             Be Consistent – Don’t let moods dictate the rules.

                  3.             Follow Through – If you draw a line, enforce it.

                  4.             Model the Lines – Live what you teach.

                  5.             Balance Grace and Truth – Too much law is harsh; too much grace is chaos. Children need both.

I think back to my dad mowing those lines in the pasture. He wasn’t just fixing a game he was teaching us a life lesson: lines matter. Clear, consistent lines bring peace, order, and freedom.

Parents, let’s not be Etch-A-Sketch parents. Let’s stop moving the lines. Let’s stand firm in God’s Word and give our children the gift of boundaries.

Because one day, they’ll look back just as I do and thank you for the lines that shaped their lives.