The Carpool Lane of Life

A few years back, I had an experience that forced me to ask a question I want to ask you today: Are you doing life alone?

We were preparing for a ministry trip to England. Just four days before departure, my son Daniel asked if he could come with me. We were thrilled at the idea but then remembered… his passport was missing.

Thursday morning turned into a frantic search. Birth certificates, Social Security cards, baptism records we dug through every drawer. We even drove across Los Angeles looking for answers. By Friday, the reality set in: Daniel would stay behind to work on Champion Life TV programs, while I traveled alone.

So, at 5 a.m. Friday morning, I set out for the airport. Later, while driving back, I found myself stuck completely still on the I-10 freeway with thousands of other cars. That’s when I noticed something: two carpool lanes, wide open, flowing smoothly at 70 miles per hour. Every few minutes a car would zip past, while the rest of us sat fuming in gridlock.

First, I got mad at the people zooming by. Then, I got mad at Daniel for not coming even though we had both agreed it was best for him to stay home. But then I looked around and realized something sobering: thousands of people were sitting in traffic by themselves, doing life alone.

And it hit me I was doing the same thing.

I was stuck in the “doing life alone” lanes, while the “doing life together” lanes were wide open.

From the beginning, God designed us for connection. In creation He declared again and again, “It is good.” But then in Genesis 2:18 He said:

“It is not good for the man to be alone.”

Loneliness was the very first thing in creation that God called “not good.”

Even Jesus, the Son of God, didn’t do life alone. At age twelve He said, “I must be about my Father’s business.” Yet when He launched His ministry, He immediately gathered close friends Peter, James, and John. At His most powerful miracles and His deepest struggles, they were by His side.

If Jesus needed friends, don’t you think you and I do too?

The key to healthy relationships often begins with asking the right questions:

1. Do you like the reflection in your friendship mirror?

Proverbs 27:19 says: “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.”

Your friends are your reflection. When people tell their story, it often begins: “I had these friends…” That phrase explains prison sentences, testimonies of salvation, and everything in between.

2. Are your friendships intentional or accidental?

Proverbs 12:26 says: “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

Friendship isn’t meant to be accidental it’s meant to be chosen with care.

3. Do your friends bring out the best or the worst in you?

“Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

4. Do your friends tell you the truth?

“An honest answer is a sign of true friendship.” (Proverbs 24:26)

5. Are your friends loyal?

Proverbs 18:24 reminds us there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

6. Can your friends be trusted with secrets?

Proverbs 11:13 says: “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”

7. Do your friends sharpen you?

Proverbs 27:17 says: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

God’s design is for us to live in meaningful community. But when we don’t have real relationships, we turn to substitutes.

Think of Tom Hanks in Castaway. Alone on that island, he painted a face on a volleyball and named it “Wilson.” It’s funny on screen but tragic in real life.

   •   Some people turn to drugs or alcohol to fill the void.

   •   Some turn to pornography to replace real intimacy.

   •   Some settle for shallow connections instead of deep, godly friendships.

But God’s answer is clear: “Do not stay away from church meetings… but meet together and encourage each other.” (Hebrews 10:25 NCV)

The local church is God’s gift for doing life together.

That morning on the I-10 freeway, the carpool lanes were wide open while thousands of us sat stuck in traffic. The difference wasn’t the road it was the company.

Life is exactly the same.

   •   When you surround yourself with godly, intentional friends, life moves faster, the load feels lighter, and the journey is richer.

   •   But when you do life alone, you feel stuck, frustrated, and resentful as others seem to move ahead.

Are you doing life alone? Or are you in the carpool lane moving forward with people who love God, bring out your best, and encourage your faith?

Because the bottom line is this: You were created for community. You were designed for relationship. You were never meant to do life alone.

Choose wisely. Seek out godly friends. Be that kind of friend yourself.

And when you do, you’ll discover the joy, freedom, and strength that comes from living in the “doing life together” lane.