“SHE WOULD NEVER LIVE A HEALTHY OR NORMAL LIFE!”
I guess the whole thing started as a silly little thing we were doing for fun. We were sitting in a little dinner with who would be my best man, Ed Blocker when he asked, when are you actually thinking of getting married. We said really, we had no idea when but would love to sooner than later. I’m not really sure whose idea it was but before you know it we were talking about possible dates. We couldn’t decide if we wanted to have a summer or a winter wedding or even what year. Someone pulled out a dime and said well let’s just flip a coin to decide. As the coin was in the air Ed said heads or tails for 1980 or 1981. We flipped that coin over and over again summer or winter, spring our fall till we had settled on December 12, 1980, 7PM. We were all laughing and being giddy till Tammy and I looked at each other and said, what do you think? Should we go for it?
To be honest the wedding date chosen by the dime was not good. See Tammy was currently in radiation treatments after being diagnosed with stage four cancer. The radiation was having a devastating effect on Tammy’s body. Her hair had fallen out and burn spots where the intense radiation was burning her. Before it was all over, she would be in and out of the hospital with tests, procedures, surgeries and 89 old school radiation treatments. As we sat in that dinner talking, we realized it would be many years if ever that the timing would be better. In our hearts we knew Tammy’s chances were better if we faced the future together.
When our big day finally arrived, I was standing on the stage waiting for Tammy to walk through the back doors of the church. We had decided not to see each other the day of our wedding. As she walked through the sanctuary doors and up the isle, I can still remember my thoughts. In the front of my mind, I was taken back by how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress but in the back of my mind I could hear the doctor say, if she lives she won’t live a healthy of normal life.
In the front of my mind, we would raise a family together but in the back of my mind I hear the doctor saying that the radiation had burned up all her eggs leaving her barren. All Tammy’s medical expenses had totaled hundreds of thousands of dollars. Up until this point Tammy’s father’s health insurance had covered all her expenses but the moment, we were married her insurance coverage would be canceled. That’s right the moment she said I Do no more insurance. As she walked up the isle in the front of my mind, we would build a home together but in the back of my mind I realized her future medical expenses would bankrupt us. We all have idealistic thoughts that flood the front of our minds as well as challenging or even fearful thoughts that are lurking in the backs of our minds. I’ve learned that the battle is won or lost in the middle.
Turns out we were right. Tammy and I are better together and together we have overcome whatever life has thrown at us!