If You’re Waiting for Them to Apologize, You’ll Be Waiting a Lifetime

When I was a boy growing up in my parents’ home, I can’t count the times I heard them pray over me. My father would slip into my room at 4:30 in the morning before heading to work on the ranch. He’d place his hand on me and whisper blessings over my life. My mother’s voice carried the same steady prayer: “God, may Eddie’s voice be heard across the nations. May his hands bring healing. May his heartbeat with compassion for a lost and dying world.”

Now don’t misunderstand my parents corrected me like any other kid. I heard plenty of, “Eddie, clean your room!” and “Eddie, get out and do your chores!” But when they talked to God about me, the words were different: anointed, called, appointed, set apart. By hearing my parents talk to God, I learned how to talk to Him. And by hearing my mother’s words, I learned how to speak to others.

Was my family perfect? No. But it was healthy. And much of that health came down to eleven simple words my mother lived by and taught us daily.

The first three: Please forgive me.

Those are three of the hardest words in any language. I heard them hundreds of times from my mother. Sometimes she had made a mistake; sometimes she hadn’t. But she still modeled humility, because she knew peace was more valuable than pride. She never waited for someone else to go first. She didn’t keep score. She just asked for forgiveness.

Psalm 19:12 says, “But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.” My mother showed me that real strength isn’t in being right; it’s in being reconciled.

The next three: I forgive you.

I made plenty of mistakes as a kid and let’s be honest, as a teenager even more. Often, I wasn’t ready to admit I was wrong. Sometimes I knew I was wrong but refused to confess it. Yet my mother didn’t wait until I apologized; she forgave first. Her forgiveness came before my maturity. Looking back, I now realize the freedom that gave me.

Matthew 6:14-15 reminds us that we can’t expect God’s forgiveness if we refuse to forgive others. Forgiveness isn’t optional it’s a lifeline.

The next two words: Thank you.

In a home full of kids our three plus up to eight foster children at a time everyone had chores. But when I did mine, my mother didn’t take it for granted. She noticed. She thanked me. “Son, I saw how carefully you did the dishes tonight. Thank you for taking the time to do them right.” She showed me that gratitude keeps a home healthy.

And finally, the last three words: I love you.

Some families never say it. Some avoid physical affection. But not ours. Love wasn’t just understood it was spoken. My mother’s voice often carried those three words, and my father echoed them with actions and prayers.

Here’s the truth: If you wait for someone else to apologize, you may be waiting a lifetime. My mother didn’t wait. She forgave quickly, asked forgiveness quickly, gave thanks generously, and spoke love freely. That’s why, today, I enjoy healthy relationships with my wife, my children, and even my grandchildren.

Friend, these eleven words may not look like much on paper, but they can change the culture of a home, heal the wounds of a marriage, and break the cycle of dysfunction in a family.

Next time you’re tempted to wait for the other person to “go first,” remember this: humility is not weakness. Forgiveness is not optional. Gratitude is not unnecessary. Love is not negotiable.

So let me leave you with this thought: What could happen in your family, your marriage, your friendships, if you began to speak fluently the language of: Please Forgive Me. I Forgive You. Thank You. I Love You?

Imagine where those eleven words could take you.